Social media in general exhibit a wide variety of information sources pertaining to relationships. While we have talked about relationship status’s on facebook in class, relationships are not only being advertised online, but they are also being created online. We see countless commercials on television advertising dating sites and informing the public of their success. From e-harmony and match.com to zoosk and plenty of fish there are an endless supply of options for those looking to start a connection through a social media site.
Ten years ago if you told someone you were talking to a person you met online they would probably believe them to be a creepy sixty year old man living in his mom’s basement. Parent’s would always warn you to watch out for online predators when you were on AOL instant messenger or via e-mail. It seemed that no one could be trusted and often times for good reason.
However, recently online dating has become the way of the world. More and more people are opening up to putting themselves out there online. I know multiple couples who have met their current boyfriends/girlfriends online. Social media sites are definitely an opportunity for older people or people who have already been married, those who have kids, or who don’t have time to go out and meet someone, to be able to do so. It opens up new opportunities to connect with people would wouldn’t be able to connect with otherwise. Still, when watching commercials for these dating sites and visiting the sites it is clear that they don’t want their sites to be geared strictly towards older people or people who are “past their prime”. It isn’t meant to be a last resort for those who can’t find anything better, but rather an alternate way to meet someone.Yet, those who do meet people online are often hesitant to admit they did it through a social media site. It is almost looked down upon especially by those of older generations that aren’t familiar with such social media sites.
In addition to convenience, the social media site’s main perk is that they match you with someone which you share common interests. We’ve all seen the commercials of the couples claiming they knew they were meant for each other since day one. And in some cases this may be true; but the chances of this being true are highly unlikely. While you may share interests, it is often said that opposites attract, so how beneficial is this draw-point. I know I have dated people who are absolutely nothing like me and these are often times the most fun and educational relationships.
Studies have shown that relationships that do start through social media sites are in fact less successful than those that start in “the real world”. This statistic could be skewed due to the fact that those who do meet online are thrown into the mix of things immediately and various other factors. For example some online dating sites are not geared towards committed relationships. SO really it depends on what the person is looking for. There are sites based solely on the online relationship factor. Sites that aren’t geared towards long term, committed relationships, or even relationships at all. But this applies in the real world as well.
In the end I think relationships via social media sites and relationships that aren’t started over the internet have a lot in common. They each have their perks and in the end both result in successful and unsuccessful relationships. Still, online dating has become the way of the world and I believe the fad will only continue to get bigger.
I really like your point about relationships that start online as being less successful usually than those started in real life. when people read others’ profiles online and know almost everything about them before they even meet, its not only creepy but takes away the bonding aspect of getting to know someone. it is much more meaningful to realize you share something in common with someone face-to-face where you can see each others’ reaction rather than see it online and casually bring it up when you meet that person. I understand the good aspects of meeting people online, but honestly anyone who tried to get to know me through an online site i automatically take to be creepy. online dating seems to reproduce the actions of humans being lazy-they need a computer to find their match rather then getting out and talking to people.
I think that the reason that online relationships may be less successful than in-person relationships is hinged on a lot of factors, as you have previously stated. Online, everything is modified tracked and easily viewed by others. Not so in the real world, where if an embarrassing events it is carried on only in the memories of the individuals who witnessed it. In the online world, it is a lot easier to remember events and relationships made and formed for the simple reason that it is saved in a history, making a different memory than would be created in the real world.
Another factor that could affect that statistic is the fact that internet dating sites can be superficial as some match people together by common interests and it is easy to make up an identity that does not accurately reflect you. An example that comes to mind is a movie I watched earlier where a woman created 16 different profiles on Facebook and got a man to fall in love with one of her profiles. This clearly shows how easy it is to be deceptive over the same mediums created for genuine interactions and can lead to relationship failures.
I don’t know if I agree with your point about online relationships being less successful than real-world relationships because the issue is a little bit more complicated than just the way people are dating now. The internet is an accessible world and social media networks sites, such as Facebook, e-harmony, match and others allow a pretty much permanent record of the interactions and experiences you’ve had (or haven’t had) with others. This is just not true in the real world. If something embarrassing or particularly memorable happens, it is limited by the memories of those who witnessed it and that memory can easily be altered or erased with time. The timeline of events offer some accountability of your online personality and creates an image of the progression of yourself that cannot be altered in your mind. In addition it is very easy for someone to be unauthentic when interacting online. An example that comes to mind is a documentary of a woman who created 16 profiles on Facebook and got a man to fall in love with a girl in one of them. This just shows how truth can easily be distorted online, which can also hurt relationships.
Online dating may be an excellent way to meet people of similar interests but I am concerned with the internets ability to hide truth. Online dating sites may claim people have certain likes and dislikes when it comes to hobbies, habits, politics, lifestyles etc but it’s easy to make up stuff that the user may percieve themselves as or even the way they want to be. To extend on this point, it may be entirely possible that an online dating user may decide to attract a hard working professional and claim that they themselves are also hardworking professionals when in reality they may be lazy and unemployed. This factor works with just about all of the information that is relayed over the online dating site. Perhaps it may be difficult for online users to bypass all of the lies and find genuine people. This concept is also difficult in real life but I believe it is easier to spot liers in reality than it is online. Where online dating sites may be excellent tools for meeting people, I am skeptical with the effectiveness of these sites when it comes to creating long term stable relationships
I think it all just depends on the site where people meet and each persons intentions. For example if some random stranger hits you up on Facebook they are probably not going to be successful. Because Facebook is not designed as a dating site it is more a place to share with your already existing friends. Yes you can meet people there and form new relationships but that is not the initial intention of most. A lot of movies I’ve seen recently is we all no what myspace is for now… a casual 1 time or short term bootycall hook up. I thought MySpace used to be for bands to share music and gain fans and people to say hey to their friends but most people I know have deleted their MySpace and moved on. Dating sites like e-harmony I feel like are going to form more successful relationships because that is what they are for! It’s not thought to be as creepy because people have generally tried dating in the real world, been unsuccessful, and are just trying to expand their options by allowing a dating site to “match” them. From there they can view a profile, chat, etc. and then decide if they want to meet or go on a date. I do agree though that it is scary the way people can misrepresent themselves online. Anyone ever seen “to catch a predator”? It’s scary stuff.
I would be interested to find out the percentage of relationships that begin online versus those that begin through interactions in the real world. You (or whoever you got your info from) say that online relationships are less successful than relationships that start in the real world, but if there are twice as many relationships starting out online, then the number of relationships that don’t work out could potentially be greater as well, which could skew the data in favor of relationships that start in the real world. I do think that online dating is a benefit in today’s world, which often leaves little time for meeting people. However, meeting people face to face is also good. Both have their ups and downs, and honestly, I think it’s hard to generalize which one is better or worse. It depends more on the individual person than people as a whole.
It seems that online dating has become catered to the faster pace of our modern world. Some people are so fast paced now that they want to appeal to a greater audience in a shorter amount of time, hence they use dating sites to have many people review their profile and see whether they’re interested without having to take the time to meet each and every person and tell them preliminary data about themselves. This age is the age of convenience so for some people, saving time is great and getting results quickly is something worth having.